Friday, November 2, 2012

Pain and Joy

Joy is not the absence of pain, it is the presence of God.
My husband said that to me recently and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

When I think that I am doomed to a life of misery because of my suffering. I remember Lucy and am reminded that she was blissfully happy despite constant pain.

I no longer see, easiness of life as a blessing. Some people have everything. They have their health, plenty of money, great children and they are still miserable. Our, "blessings" have nothing to do with how blessed or loved we are. Your life is not easy because you've been good. Your life is not hard because you've been bad. Pain in our lives exists to bring us back to Christ.

After Lucy died I knew things would never be better. I knew the hurt would never lessen. People told me time would heal things. But time hasn't healed anything. Only through the atonement can my pain be lessened. I know our family still has a long way to go. We have a lot left to learn. But we have felt joy despite our constant pain. There is something so comforting in knowing life doesn't have to be good to be good. The more I hear about other people's problems, the more I feel we're all being asked to face the same trial. It seems every trial is a trial of faith. After Lucy died I thought nobody could possibly understand what we were going through. But it seems like, to a degree, everyone understands.