Friday, June 7, 2013

I feel as if I've been hit with an extra dose of grief since we moved here. I think it began with our trip back to Kansas City. I miss the life we had there so much. Most of our stuff we're unpacking is stuff we really haven't seen since we lived in Kansas City. It reminds me so much of my little girl. Today my three kids were playing on our living room rug and it brought me back to when my other three kids played on that rug. My sadness must be rubbing off because tonight Jack sobbed because he missed Lucy. He hasn't done that since she died. He's afraid that someone else in our family is going to die too. As I explained to Jack that we would all die one day I remembered having the same conversation with my own mother at about the same age. I was about Hazel's age when my little brother died. I felt so bad for him as he wept into my arms but I know this experience is making us a stronger family.
I know the loss our family feels can't be filled with worldly possessions, or success or any other distractions. It can only be filled with the love Christ offers. I know this is true because it is the only things that has eased my suffering since Lucy died. Time alone has done nothing. I hope my other children learn that from this experience.


Anaise said...

Those moments of grieving will keep hitting you at seemingly random moments. I wish it weren't true . . . but in my experience it is.

I'll remember you especially in my prayers today.

Raelyn said...

A dear friend who has the experience of losing her second born son once told me that you are never done grieving. You are never done. My friend's grief counselor told her this. That being mentioned, there will be days like these. Once you think that it is all done and over with, grief returns like some lurking "demon". You are absolutely not alone.
There is this Blog which I enjoy reading. Ashley, too, lost a child, and painstakingly expresses her emotions/feelings regarding grieving Presley. Here is the link. .

Carlie said...

That's a great picture of Lucy. You make me cry. We miss you guys so much. Jessie cried after our conversation and wants you guys back! We can't wait to come visit sometime! I'm so glad you found such a fun place to be. You guys will be a great addition to Yellow Springs. I can just see you out there Saturday mornings "promoting peace"!