When we first found out there might be something wrong with Lucy I allowed myself some time to grieve. By the time we knew there was something wrong for sure I was ready to hear it. I feel the same way about Hazel. I spent a few days this week grieving, but now I'm just ready to know what we need to do now. There is still the possibility that nothing is wrong at all, but I don't think so. The more research I do the more convinced I am that she will need surgery.
Chuck asked me a couple of days ago what I was the most worried about. The truth is, the surgery isn't what concerns me the most. I know that will be difficult and awful but I'm worried about what her head will look like later in life. I wouldn't be nearly so concerned about this except for the fact that Hazel is an identical twin. Lucy will be a constant reminder of what Hazel is "supposed" to look like. I don't want Hazel to feel like there is something wrong with the way she looks. I don't want her to feel like she is being compared to her sister.
When we bring children into the world we do so knowing that they will have to go through difficult things. I never quite realized what that meant, and how much faith it requires on our part as parents to trust our Heavenly Father to look after them.