2010

One year ago Chuck and I were driving home from visiting family in Utah. We had a double stroller in the back of our car that my sister gave us. We knew I was pregnant but had not yet been to an ob. "That thing is going to jinx us," Chuck said. During that Christmas break I had also had a dream that I had twins. It terrified me. I wish I remembered it detail. When I was pregnant with Jack I told Chuck that if we ever had twin girls I wanted to name them Blair and McKay after our dads. On January 9th of last year, we went to dinner with a friend of ours. It was the night before we had our first ultrasound. We made jokes about there being twins. An hour before my doctor's appointment the next day I called my mom. I told her I'd be glad when this appointment was over so I'd know there was only one. She laughed and told me, "If you had twins I'll hire you a nanny." When I was probably about 12 I remember a conversation with my mother and my two older sisters. We were talking about my brother who had died of hypo-plastic left heart syndrome. My mom said something about how one of us could have a child with a heart defect. I remember thinking then that it would be me. A few months before I got pregnant I knew something big was about to happen in our lives.

This past year has been the most pivotal year of my life. I think Chuck's as well. It has been the hardest year on our marriage but I know we are more committed to each other than ever. I love him and all my family for the sacrifices they have made for us. I feel a closer bond to my husband, my parents, my siblings, my in-laws and my extended family than I ever have before. I have felt people's prayers in a way that is beyond explanation. I can feel when they are strongest because I experience strength that is not my own. I would hope everyone could experience the power of prayer in this way. My testimony has been tried and tested. Some of beliefs have been shattered and rebuilt. I see myself and my life differently. This year I've learned to look for the Lord's hand in our life and I've realized my faith isn't as strong as it needs to be.

The Lord has done so much to prepare us for the trials we've had this year. When there seemed to be no hope at times, a way was provided. Sometimes we are kept in the dark for a reason. I know there is purpose to the events in my life.

2010 in photo recap: no particular order because I have no idea what I'm doing

Chuck, Lucy and Jack...Hazel never made it into her costume. We only lasted about 7 minutes at our ward Halloween party before we had to leave.

After the babies were born.
My little bro came home from his mission. A highlight of the year. I was so sad I couldn't be there.
Blessing day. Babies with their namesakes.
Hazel's surgery.
Lulu's surgery.
Gammy and Hazel.
Jack spent a lot of this year naked. He loves his "saur" more than anything.
One year ago.
38 weeks pregnant. Happy Birthday girls!
We have so many pictures of Chuck asleep with babies.
Welcome to the world Hazel.
Deathly white. I know.
Here we come 2011. I hope you are ready for us!