Today I had a beautiful insight that I know was the spirit talking to me, bringing me comfort. If I don't write it down now, it won't be able to help me and I might really need this soon.
I was standing next to my daughter in the ICU and a nurse was doing something to her that was very scary and painful. She looked at me with those eyes. I know if she could talk, she would have said, "stop them mom! Help me. Why are you letting them do this to me. I know you love me so why aren't you stopping this."
In my mind I answered her, "Lucy I love you. I wouldn't let this happen to you if I didn't know it was helping you. You have to go through this if you are going to be healed. It won't feel like this forever. This will help you get better."
She kept her eyes on me and when the nurse was done I scooped her up and held her tight. She hugged me back, even though I let her go through that pain. In that moment holding her I knew I needed the faith of this child.
Today I wanted to cry out to my Heavenly Father, "Fix this! Don't put my child through this. Why are you letting this happen? I know you love us so why would you do this?"
It was then I realized I had answered my own questions. "Eliza, I love you. I wouldn't let this happen to you if I didn't know it was helping you. You have to go through this if you are going to be healed. It won't feel like this forever. This will help you be better."
We all are going to be given trials that will test us. If we have faith Iike Lucy, our Heavenly Father will be there waiting to pick us up. We have to keep our eyes on Him even through the darkest and most confusing times.
We've been so blessed to be here at this time. We have the most amazing friends and family and I feel us being lifted up by the prayers of so many. In the past when bad things happened to those I loved, I would ache for them. It's easy to think that our worry isn't helping anyone. I believe we can literally bare one another's burdens just as our Savior did for us. I have never heard this taught, but during hard times with my daughter, I have felt my burdens become light. I feel people carrying the worry with me. Thank you.
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