Today I had a beautiful insight that I know was the spirit talking to me, bringing me comfort. If I don't write it down now, it won't be able to help me and I might really need this soon.
I was standing next to my daughter in the ICU and a nurse was doing something to her that was very scary and painful. She looked at me with those eyes. I know if she could talk, she would have said, "stop them mom! Help me. Why are you letting them do this to me. I know you love me so why aren't you stopping this."
In my mind I answered her, "Lucy I love you. I wouldn't let this happen to you if I didn't know it was helping you. You have to go through this if you are going to be healed. It won't feel like this forever. This will help you get better."
She kept her eyes on me and when the nurse was done I scooped her up and held her tight. She hugged me back, even though I let her go through that pain. In that moment holding her I knew I needed the faith of this child.
Today I wanted to cry out to my Heavenly Father, "Fix this! Don't put my child through this. Why are you letting this happen? I know you love us so why would you do this?"
It was then I realized I had answered my own questions. "Eliza, I love you. I wouldn't let this happen to you if I didn't know it was helping you. You have to go through this if you are going to be healed. It won't feel like this forever. This will help you be better."
We all are going to be given trials that will test us. If we have faith Iike Lucy, our Heavenly Father will be there waiting to pick us up. We have to keep our eyes on Him even through the darkest and most confusing times.
We've been so blessed to be here at this time. We have the most amazing friends and family and I feel us being lifted up by the prayers of so many. In the past when bad things happened to those I loved, I would ache for them. It's easy to think that our worry isn't helping anyone. I believe we can literally bare one another's burdens just as our Savior did for us. I have never heard this taught, but during hard times with my daughter, I have felt my burdens become light. I feel people carrying the worry with me. Thank you.
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11 comments:
Liza, you are amazing. This was such a beautiful insight. My eye sight is blurry from all my tears for Lucy. I love you guys so much and I am so glad you have an eternal perspective of all this awfulness. Hang in there.
That is so amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this. You had me in tears.
Ah, I am crying too, like your other readers. So beautifully written.
I will share as much of your burden as I possibly can! I'm a total worry-wart so hopefully that helps. :) You are an amazing woman and mom and I know that you are being looked out for. We'll keep praying and fasting for you guys!
Philosophers have puzzled over the great question, why does a all powerful God, allow human suffering. Yours is as good an answer to that question, no, better, than I have ever heard. That's because it came from the spirit (of God).
Dad
So many thoughts...so many emotions your blog puts me through, for obvious reasons. But today, this insight helped me more than you'll ever know, and I love you for it.
You are constantly in my prayers!
Thank you for sharing this.
Eliza,
Thank you for being a great wife to Chuck, he needs you, an awesome mother to those adorable nieces and nephew of mine and thank you for being my sister. You are an amazing person and be going through what you are going through you fight the way for you and your family and everyone who knows and loves you and comes in contact with you. Your example is amazing, I know it's hard, how? Because if I even try to imagine what you are going through it hurts too much and I thank you for doing it for my brother for my nieces and nephews. You amaze me. I hope you know if I could I would bear this burden for you, but since I can't know that there is a world full of people praying with all their heart for you and your family. I love you guys.
I think that's why we have children . . . because they teach us that which we simply could not learn on our own.
Here's hoping that the hugs and kisses and cuddles of these hard days help balance out the horrid things.
Thank you so much for sharing that insight, Eliza. You may never know all the hearts you've touched and lives you have lifted by telling about your experience, and the hope you have because of your faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. We remember Lucy and your family in our prayers every day, and it's wonderful to know that they are making a difference. Keep your chin up!
Liza, that was such a profound insight. You are such an amazing person. You are an inspiration to me, and I look up to you, and am so glad you are my sister. Your perspective is beautiful, I wish I could keep that and remember that in my heart always. My family is aching for you, and praying and fasting. We love you, and all of your sweet family.
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