Saturday, October 22, 2011

Missing Lucy

I can't sleep. I ache to be with Lucy again. She had a beautiful funeral that brought us a lot of peace but it doesn't make me miss her any less. It's hard to imagine it will ever be any better. I'm still in denial. I keep telling myself, "she was just here. She can't just be gone." Then it hurts all over again. After the funeral Jack had some nightmares. I try my best not to cry in front of him anymore. It's hard and nearly impossible. Hazel knows somethings up too. They both have been acting up a lot this week. We are currently on a little vacation which I think has really been good for them. They have been getting lots of attention from family.
Everything we do seems to remind us of Lucy and I hate that she can't be with us. We miss you Lu.


Anaise said...

After our Taylor left, I would cry in the shower. The kids couldn't hear me and get frightened, and the water soothed my eyes and face so that there were no awkward questions to answer afterwards.

Cry when you need to. Even the Savior wept over Lazarus. Heavenly Father knows we need to cry.

I'm sorry for this hard time for you.

The Reynolds said...

My MIL lost her son almost 2 years ago and she's told me it doesn't really get better but it gets bearable. She's had to fight at times to find peace and comfort. She says at first she really felt guilty for having good times after he left but has learned that Heavenly Father still wants her to learn and grow and enjoy life. I'm sure it's hard and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. There are many of us crying with you because we miss Lucy and because you are hurting.

I'm glad the kids are enjoying their vacation and I'm glad that you have so many friends and family around you. We do miss you here, though, and we think of you and your family often.

Debbie Feller said...

SO SORRY Liza...I ache for you!!! Hang in there!!!

Tom/Tabitha said...

No, it doesn't get better, ever, but it does get easier to bear as our experience and our strength grows, especially as we trust our Heavenly Father. HUGS! I still cry for Joseph, and my family has grown and had so many memories since. We just talk about how he is still part of our family, and probably watching out for us. Sometimes, on really special days, we feel that he is with us... but only the littlest can see him.

The vacation is probably so good for all of you! Enjoy this time. Thinking of all of you!

Jensen said...

I was thinking of my Emma today and I thought of you and your family. I am sorry it hurts I know it hurts. I remember those first hours, days, minutes, everything I did and thought was Emma and it felt how could the world go on when my world fell apart. I felt angels in my home many days and I felt Emma literally lifting me up. I am praying for you tonight that you feel Lucy wrap her arms around you and tell what I have heard before, "keep going Mom, I love you" Praying for you, Love, Michelle Jensen

MEGandJEFF said...

Chuck, Eliza, Jack & heart aches for you. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. May God bring you peace. I know that families are forever.

Jen said...

I miss this amazing little girl Lucy too...a little girl I've never met, a family I have never met except through this blog.

I think of Lucy and your family daily and send prayers.