I am grateful for prayer. I am grateful for people who care enough to take a moment and think of our daughter Lucy. This hard been a difficult year for us but we know we are very lucky. We have had so many prayers coming our way. Most of us don't get that through our trials. Most of the time we suffer in silence while the world around us is oblivious to our pain. I wish that everyone could feel the warm embrace that comes when so much love and focus is spent in prayer. I know that even at our loneliest, our Savior knows us and loves us and has walked in our shoes. He can compensate for those times when no one knows to pray.
I've found myself thinking a lot about trials this year and have come out with the testimony that they can always be a tool to bring us closer to our Heavenly Father.
A lot of people have said to me, "a least she won't remember this." It's true Lucy won't remember how hard this year was, but I know it will change her forever. I don't think Heavenly Father gives us these trials for kicks. They always prepare us for something bigger.
Sometimes we look at other people and think of how easy they have it. How if they knew how rough I had it, they couldn't possibly have anything to whine about. Or sometimes we see others and think, I could never do what they are doing. I know I have been guilty of both.
I believe we are all on a path in this life. We don't get a pass on hard stuff. We can't expect great blessings without some work on our part. I need. to stop comparing my trials with others. This is being drilled into me. It might take my whole life to really get it but I hope one day I can. I try to remember that only my Heavenly Father knows what I need. Sometimes we forget that what is hard for one may not be for another. When I had Jack I was so depressed and lonely. Looking at it now it seems so easy, but it wasn't. It was a really really difficult thing for me. We just don't know.
I heard that Lucy was mentioned in the sacrament meeting prayer in my old ward. The byu ward that my dad is bishop of also mentioned Lucy on Sunday. I know so many people prayed for her and fasted for her. Her name was taken to multiple temples. All of this has meant so much to us. I think a miracle is seeing the hand of God in our life and I've seen it today and countless times this year.
Today was so much better than I could have expected. We were bracing ourselves all morning. Her first surgery was the worst day of my life. Today was much better. We still have a few bumpy days ahead but it will be ok. They we able to do some crazy things with her heart. I'll try to post some pictures soon. She looks good. They'll start waking her up tomorrow and then the real work begins.
Thanks again everyone.